Part 1.

Over the last week I've made a few extremely stupid mistakes. First, the highly unfair and selfish vent that I posted shouldn't have been said, nor should it have been available to the public eye.
My beautiful, strong, independent and caring wife has definitely opened my eyes, as well as give me a few things to think about.
The things that she asks for aren't a big of a deal as I made them out to be...what was really the problem was my own mental weakness. I've blamed my problems and shortcomings on a lot of things, and haven't really spent the time to look at myself as the source of the problems that I'm facing. It takes willpower to do work. It takes willpower to do homework. It takes willpower to get things accomplished, and accomplished right. The lack of willpower can just bring it down. It's not anyone else's fault but my own. And so, I'm taking steps to strengthen my mental and character disciplines.
Also, the recent experiences I've had through the MAIC (Martial Arts Instructor Course) gave me some eye openers as well...
I've become somewhat of a weak-link in my squad, due to pain, fear, inexperience and plain-old being out of shape. Through the HB (Heartbreaker) course, my body gassed out on me more than a couple times. I was the odd man out on several occasions, but I still made it. I could have given more. My only regret is that I didn't (as much). The losing squad (as there are two squads) has to carry around this huge log called "the bone". I could have sprinted at the end. I could have passed out at the finish line. What was pushing me along was someone else, the squad leader. I should not have been so damn weak, when everyone else is giving their all.

However, all that fear and discouragement went away with one thing:
It became clear to me about 2 hours ago in which all that fear went away with accomplishing one thing that I was nervous about: free-sparring with the Martial Arts Instructor Trainer (MAIT or IT for short). I was up against a sergeant who's obviously been boxing for a while, but I held my own, and through some pointers, upped my game quite a bit. Sure I got hit, and I got hit a lot; but I'm still standing. I'm not dead. Hell, after the sparring bout, I wanted to keep going. In all honesty, I wish I could have kept going, but it was someone else's turn. It kinda got me after I me and the guy were exchanging blow after blow. I didn't step out of the way; he hit, I hit, he hit, I hit; repeat process several times.

So now, I have a new resolve. Don't stop. I can't stop. There's no reason to stop. 12 more training days? I can hack it. Who says I can't? I'm not going to let that voice telling me to quit/rest/take a break to have it's way.

What am I going to do now?
Take a shower, wash my clothes, eat dinner, drink water, and clean a bathroom.

Lesson of the day: Don't let fear or mental weakness ruin your life. It almost did mine.